Skip to main content

REVIEW: Snow White

    Here's a story: 

    When developing Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, one of the hardest scenes to nail was the sequence in which the young princess is out in the meadow and she sees a lost bird who has been separated from its family. As she goes to console it, The Huntsman starts toward her, intent to fulfill The Evil Queen's orders to kill the princess and bring back her heart. The animators turned over every stone trying to figure out how to pull off this episode. They went back and forth about how slow he would creep up on her. When would he bring out the knife? When would the shadow fall on her? One of the animators reportedly asked at one point, "But won't she get hurt?" 

    That was the moment when Walt's team knew they had succeeded at their base directive to create pathos and integrity within the form of animation--to get audiences to care about a cartoon, such that they would worry that this tender-hearted girl was about to be killed. 

    In the 2025 remake by Marc Webb, that moment passes by without so much ceremony. There isn't even a bluebird for Snow White to console. No display of tenderness that makes you understand why The Huntsman would show compassion. The situation winds up becoming less defined by the tension of the moment than how he awkwardly came to have a knife in his hand before the princess scurries off. And that more or less tells you everything you need to know about how much thought was put into this film. 

    The ambition behind this remake seems to be to recast Snow White as a literal hero, the kind that actively overthrows evil power structures. This is not the unholiest of aims, and it's not as though Disney has failed to pull this off in other offerings. 

    But the source material of this film provides no natural footholds to carry the story to that destination. And so this remake winds up having to craft entire plotlines out of whole cloth, like the bandit gang that may or may not have been intended to supplant the dwarfs in some buried draft. The bandits get about as much payoff as any of the other added elements, which only serve to clutter a story that has no sense of direction or unity. (There are also contradictions we could get into: Snow White here spends way more time talking about her father than animated Snow White ever did about her Prince.) 

    Credit to Zegler, she gives her all in whatever scene she's in, and the moments where the Princess shines through are the movie's best, but she doesn't know what movie she's in better than anyone else. She and love-interest, Andrew Burnap, seem at home with one another, but their storyline ends up choking on itself.

    Snow White is reportedly the catalyst for getting the handsome Jonathan to understand selflessness and hope in times of distress, but this only brings up further questions: what are Jonathan and his bandit buddies doing risking their lives together like this if they really do believe in every man for himself? And what is Jonathan doing ribbing her for her spoiled upbringing anyway? Didn't he see her slaving away in her own castle? Right before she put herself on the line to save him from the dungeons?

    It's Gal Gadot, though, who most actively derails the film. Maybe it just didn't fit the director's vision to have the antagonist match the steely coldness of The Evil Queen from the animated film, but surely there were other sources of inspiration than Ashley Tisdale as seen in High School Musical. The movie ends up ironically capturing the agony of living under the tyranny of a narcissist who's neither menacing nor even competent--just really shrill and somehow in charge.

    There is also measure of valid irritation with this movie for calling itself a musical yet supplanting well over half of the original film's song book. Pasek & Paul are maybe the least frustrating components of the film, yet this is perhaps their weakest menu to date. Their strongest offerings are actually Snow White's new anthem and her love duet with her bandit boyfriend. I guess we can only imagine a universe where these story beats were supplied by music ... Maybe they could have redirected their efforts to something like the Evil Queen's diva number, featuring such sizzling lyrics as "Beauty means power, means I write the rules" that would make Howard Ashman jealous ... 

    Some will look at this and muse themselves on how fruitless it ever was to try to resuscitate a nearly hundred-year-old cartoon for a world that tells itself it's beyond fairy-tales, and I'd have to disagree. "Timeless" is more than just a tagline. And America of the 2020s surely needs fairy-tales every bit as much as America of The Great Depression did.

    But that only works if a film has a vision for what it wants--and this film only knows what it doesn't want. 

            --The Professor

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

REVIEW: Lilo & Stitch

       By now the system errors of Disney's live-action remake matrix are well codified. These outputs tend to have pacing that feels like it was okayed by a chain store manager trying to lower the quarterly statement. They also show weird deference to very specific gags from their animated source yet don't bother to ask whether they fit well in the photorealistic world of live-action. And combing through the screenplay, you always seem to get snagged on certain lines of dialogue that someone must have thought belonged in a children's movie ("Being gross is against galactic regulation!).      These are all present in this  summer's live-action reinvention of "Lilo & Stitch." But mercifully, this remake allows itself to go off-script here and there. The result may be one of the stronger Disney remakes ... whatever that's worth.     The 2002 animated masterpiece by Dean Deblois and Chris Sanders (who voices the little blue alien in bo...

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind: Do Clementine and Joel Stay Together or Not?

                    Maybe. The answer is maybe.             Not wanting to be that guy who teases a definitive answer to a difficult question and forces you to read a ten-page essay only to cop-out with a non-committal excuse of an answer, I’m telling you up and front the answer is maybe. Though nations have long warred over this matter of great importance, the film itself does not answer once and for all whether or not Joel Barrish and Clementine Krychinzki find lasting happiness together at conclusion of the film Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Min d. I cannot give a definitive answer as to whether Joel and Clementine’s love will last until the stars turn cold or just through the weekend. This essay cannot do that.             What this essay can do is explore the in-text evidence the film gives for either side t...

REVIEW: The Legend of Ochi

    This decade has seen a renaissance of movies claiming to be "this generation's ET ," but you probably can't remember their names any better than I can. We could have all sorts of debates why it is no one seems to know how to access that these days, though I don't think for a moment that it's because 2020s America is actually beyond considering what it means to touch that childhood innocence.      But A24's newest film, The Legend of Ochi , does have me thinking this mental block is mostly self-inflicted by a world whose extoling of childhood is more driven by a dislike of the older generation than anything else.  Fitting together narratives like How to Train Your Dragon with Fiddler on the Roof and tossing it in the sock drawer with 1980s dark fantasy, The Legend of Ochi is intermittently enchanting, but it's undermined by its own cynicism.     On an island stepped out of time, a secluded community wages war against the local population of ...

An Earnest Defense of Passengers

          Recall with me, if you will, the scene in Hollywood December 2016. We were less than a year away from #MeToo, and the internet was keenly aware of Hollywood’s suffocating influence on its females on and off screen but not yet sure what to do about it.       Enter Morten Tyldum’s film Passengers , a movie which, despite featuring the two hottest stars in Hollywood at the apex of their fame, was mangled by internet critics immediately after take-off. A key piece of Passengers ’ plot revolves around the main character, Jim Preston, a passenger onboard a spaceship, who prematurely awakens from a century-long hibernation and faces a lifetime of solitude adrift in outer space; rather than suffer through a life of loneliness, he eventually decides to deliberately awaken another passenger, Aurora Lane, condemning her to his same fate.    So this is obviously a film with a moral dilemma at its center. Morten Tyldum, direc...

Millennium Actress: How Personal IS Art?

So here’s a question: how much do you really know about your favorite actor?  Follow-up question, do you sometimes wish you knew less? It is a truism that the people making the magic onscreen are not necessarily mirror reflections of the heroes they are bringing to life. The players in your favorite romantic drama have cheated on their spouses. Your favorite action hero has enabled abuse. Or, he’s just a loser. And all of us lost at least one favorite to #MeToo.  But just the same, we cannot deny our fascination with those people on the big screen. Film historian, Ty Burr, described in his book, Gods Like Us ,  Gone with the Wind (1939) “The fascination with stars is in large part a desire to unlock the nagging puzzle of identity—who are these people who we know so well and not at all? ... The violence done to Mary Pickford and Charlie Chaplin by the mobs in the public square was on some level a rapacious desire to unclothe them, flay them, burrow to their essence....

REVIEW: Belfast

     I've said it before, and I'll say it again: the world needs more black and white movies.      The latest to answer the call is Kenneth Branagh with his  semi-autobiographical film, Belfast . The film follows Buddy, the audience-insert character, as he grows up in the streets of Belfast, Ireland in the late 1960s and early 1970s. Though Buddy and his family thrive on these familiar streets, communal turmoil leads to organized violence that throws Buddy's life into disarray. What's a family to do? On the one hand, the father recognizes that a warzone is no place for a family. But to the mother, even the turmoil of her community's civil war feels safer than the world out there. Memory feels safer than maturation.      As these films often go, the plot is drifting and episodic yet always manages to hold one's focus. Unbrushed authenticity is a hard thing to put to film, and a film aiming for just that always walks a fine line betwe...

Meet Me in St. Louis: The Melancholy Window of Nostalgia

I don’t usually post reviews for television shows, but it feels appropriate to start today’s discussion with my reaction to Apple TV+’s series, Schmigadoon! If you’re not familiar with the series, it follows a couple who are looking to reclaim the spark of their fading romance. While hiking in the mountains, they get lost and stumble upon a cozy village, Schmigadoon, where everyone lives like they’re in the middle of an old school musical film. She’s kinda into it, he hates it, but neither of them can leave until they find true love like that in the classic movie musicals. I appreciated the series’ many homages to classical musical films. And I really loved the show rounding up musical celebrities like Aaron Tveit and Ariana Debose. Just so, I had an overall muddled response to the show. Schmigadoon! takes it as a given that this town inherits the social mores of the era in which the musicals that inspired this series were made, and that becomes the basis of not only the show...

REVIEW: Materialists

      In seminal romantic comedies or dramas, the mark of great writing was in artfully burying the lovebirds' insecurities and hangups in artifice. Pretense. The lovebirds didn't know how to honestly approach their own feelings at first. The distortion revealed the personality of both the situation and the relationship. What's more, it was just fun. The film would slowly thaw this facade until Cary Grant and Irene Dunne finally had, what Materialists calls, the ugliest parts of themselves laid bare for one another. Only then were they ready to embrace.       Yet with Materialists , out this weekend, even in moments when the situation calls for vulnerability, the characters are oddly empirical and clinical with describing the things about them that they are ashamed of. These players might as well be performing a passionate reading of a Walmart receipt. Yes, Materialists is very obviously about the transactionality of the dating scene, but the movie ...

REVIEW - The Little Mermaid

     There's been a mermaid on the horizon ever since it became clear sometime in the last decade that Disney did intend to give all of their signature titles the live-action treatment--we've had a long time to prepare for this. (For reference, this July will mark four years since Halle Bailey's casting as Ariel made headlines.)       Arguing whether this or any of the live-action remakes "live up" to their animated predecessor is always going to be a losing battle. Even ignoring the nostalgic element, it's impossible for them to earn the same degree of admiration because the terrain in which these animated films rose to legend has long eroded. This is especially the case for The Little Mermaid . Where this remake is riding off a years long commercial high for the Walt Disney Company, the Disney that made The Little Mermaid in 1989 was twenty years past its cultural goodwill. Putting out an animated fairy-tale musical was not a sure thing, yet its suc...

REVIEW: Mickey 17

Coming into Mickey 17 having not read the source material by Edward Ashton, I can easily see why this movie spoke to the sensibilities of Bong Joon Ho, particularly in the wake of his historic Academy Award win five years ago. Published in 2022, it feels like Ashton could have been doing his Oscars homework when he conceived of the story--a sort of mashup of Parasite , Aliens , and Charlie Chaplin's Modern Times . Desperate to escape planet earth, Mickey applies for a special assignment as an "expendable," a person whose sole requirement is to perform tasks too dangerous for normal consideration--the kind that absolutely arise in an outer space voyage to colonize other planets. It is expected that Mickey expire during his line of duty, but never fear. The computer has all his data and can simply reproduce him in the lab the next day for his next assignment. Rinse and repeat. It's a system that we are assured cannot fail ... until of course it does.  I'll admit my ...